Downloading Disappointment

So recently i wrote about finally fulfilling a childhood dream of getting a pickup. To say i was excited and over the moon was an understatement. Something for me thats been hard to come by in recent years. I had blocked so much emotion out i guess i was numb to good and bad.

So the achievement of finding myself and rebuilding to actually feel these emotions again is good.

But its also a double edged sword, so i’m still waiting for my truck. Its been 2 weeks and looks to be another before it will be ready. Every time i thought yes i get it tomorrow something crops up and delays it and the excitement crashes to disappointment and feeling flat. When this normally happens i would go for a drive.

As currently i’m vehicle less and having to beg and borrow to get to work, i feel isolated as it not the same going for a drive in someone else’s car and not being able to listen to music and sing like you would in your own vehicle.

So slowly becoming disheartened and thinking do i say f*ck it and lose the £200 and start looking for something else or because they have done this work and found issues before i got it. That it will be a good vehicle when i get it.

Honestly i don’t know. But anyway tomorrow is my birthday and i look forward to more important things and spending times with my family.